Waning Crescent
by TeamAwesome87
Summary: The Cullens are new, different, mysterious and don't fit in. What happens when they start at a new school in a new state?  Meagan's the only one who seems to notice them. What happens when she figures out their secret? Read and find out...Review please?
1. Prologue

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written by two best friends. Half of the story is true. It's up to you to decide which half. Please review. Be brutally honest. (BTW: We own nothing recognizable. Some names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

Also, the Prologue and Epilogue will be told in Katie's POV. The rest is all Meagan.

Have fun!

Prologue:

Katie POV

I was watching a documentary on the History Channel once, that disproved the existence of vampires. Their theory was that if a vampire had to feed once a month on a person, and if that person turned into a vampire, mathematically speaking, eventually there would be no more people. This is a story of love loss and stupidity…and my best friend Meagan.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Meagan POV **

**You unlock this door with a key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, a dimension of idiocy. We like to call it "Dimension Stupid". You are moving into a land of both sparkles and dead people. You've just crossed over into The Twilight Nearby Area…You've been warned.***

High school. Every teenager's worst nightmare. Luckily, at Hilbert Academy, things were a little bit different. Social standing didn't really matter at this school. We all seemed to get along well enough together.

That was, all of us, except for the Cullens. They were different. They never interacted with anyone, always keeping to themselves, and their own lunch table. It seemed that I was the only one who paid enough attention to notice. I had tried to bring this to the attention of some of my closer friends, but they all blew me off as usual.

Being blown off was nothing new to me. I was always noticing different things about people around me, and was often mocked for my suspicions. For example, I spent the last three years of high school trying to convince everyone that Jodie Foster was in fact a lesbian, but that was just laughed off. Well, last week she received an award and thanked her "life partner," Cydney, and thus exposed herself as the lesbian that she truly is.

Another time, I tried convincing everyone that the stars of the wrestling team, Matt and Mark, were totally gay for each other, after I noticed their close proximity at the Midnight Madness Lock-In at school. No one believed me, until Jimbo, the equipment manager (and probably my closest guy friend) caught them bumping uglies in the boys' locker room after wrestling practice.

That was just how my life was. I was always more observant than my peers and no one ever took my opinions seriously. This may have been due to my overly sarcastic sense of humor, but that's for another time.

The Cullens were sitting at their usual table, in the dark corner underneath the leaking pipes. This didn't seem to bother them, which seemed rather odd to me since they always had the best of everything- Tiffany jewelry, Louboutins, Cartier watches, and Louis Vuitton bags. Seriously, who eats a soggy sandwich while wearing $800 shoes? It just doesn't happen. Not at Hilbert Academy, anyway.

The Cullen family had recently moved to Buffalo when their adoptive father, Dr. Cullen, had gotten a job at Roswell Park Cancer Institute. Apparently he was some rocket-scientologist* of some sort. Since Hilbert was the most prestigious private school in the area, it was only natural that they would attend. From the moment they entered the building, I thought something was off about them.

Maybe it was the pasty white skin. Even coming from Sporks, Minnesota, there's no way someone's skin could be that sickly-white. Regardless of their extremely pale complexions-which all happened to match, by the way- they were some of the most gorgeous people I had ever seen (That doesn't include Paul Gaustad from the Buffalo Sabres). Each one, more beautiful than the next.

Edward was the object of many girls' affection. He had a nice, dapper look about him, which resulted in many date requests from some of the more…"experienced" girls in the school. I swear, one look from his golden eyes, and a flip of his copper hair, could send panties falling to the floor. One time, this girl Kelly, totally threw herself in front of Edward's Volvo as he tried to leave for the day. He stopped his car within inches of her panty-clad knees. Personally, I didn't find him the least bit attractive…and he was quite the arrogant prick. He was taken anyway.

Edward was with Alice. Probably the most annoying person you would ever meet. Nice girl, but bubbly as hell. Energy like hers is just not natural at 7:15 in the morning. No one should be leaping through the air like a prima ballerina before I've had my morning coffee and cheese croissant from Tim Horton's. Just the sight of Alice's short dark hair leaping through the air was enough to make me dry heave. Many of my male classmates begged to differ. Jimbo was no exception. When she had first started school, he had followed her around like a lost puppy. Edward got pissed and gave him a swirly. I wished I had been a witness to that.

While Alice leaped around like a ballerina, her brother Emmett literally wore the tutu. He seemed like a nice enough gay...I mean guy. He fit the jock criteria all right, tall and muscular, with short dark hair that desperately needed to be spiked. Despite all of this, he wasn't on any sports teams. He was the size of a bear and had the personality of a grapefruit and was definitely too gay to function.* No one ever mentioned this, though, for fear he would go all "Chuck Norris" on their ass…and I assumed he liked asses. As a result of his fit stature, he was often ogled by many of the female students and faculty, not to mention some of the guys too. This wasn't a problem for Emmett, since he loved the attention. Besides, he already had a "special someone" in Rosalie…or so he claimed. I had my own suspicions. One time, known flamer Mike Newton, delivered a perfect "bend and snap"* in front of Emmett while he switched books at his locker. Somehow, Mike had "flung" instead of snapped, and hit his head on Emmett's nose, earning Mike a concussion as a result. Emmett just looked confused (what a shock) and seemed relatively unaffected. What "supposedly" straight guy allows a bend and snap maneuver that would make Elle Woods beam with pride, in front of his locker by one of the biggest homosexuals in the school?

Rosalie was by far the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Her long blonde hair had been the envy of every girl at Hilbert since her first day. I'm still convinced it's a weave. She knew she was gorgeous and never tried to hide that fact. I hate vain bitches and so do many of my classmates. So much so, that when we had to do a song-lyric project in English class, Rita decided to do Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" as a silent jab at Rosalie. Rosalie was too busy primping to catch the subtle hint. Fuck her.

Jasper was Rosalie's brother. Sexiest man alive, I tell you. He could give Kellan Lutz a run for his money. The way his blond hair cascaded into curls across his angelic face always seemed to hold me in a trance. The hint of muscle peaking through his uniform shirt was enough to make me bring extra panties to school with me everyday…many more were needed on Gym days. One time in Gym class, we were playing volleyball. June and Brittney both went for the ball at the same time, causing them to crash into each other and fall to the ground, or so I'm told. I never saw this supposed "Daria"* moment since I was too captivated by Jasper's ass while he tied his sneaker with such elegance.

The fact that the Cullens were supposedly adopted but had striking similarities only added to the suspicions I had for the family. Each of them had the same shade of golden eyes. Golden eyes! Who has golden eyes? No one, I tell you! Or, maybe it was the fact that they were all "together" romantically. Adopted or not, that's just fucked up.

So, here I sit at my lunch table, watching the family that has been a fascination of mine for the last two months. Edward eyed me suspiciously, causing me to break my stare. It's like he could read minds or something. Earlier this year, I had been preparing for a Boy Meets World marathon weekend with Katie, and had gotten "Fuzzy Wuzzy Wub"* stuck in my head. I was just thinking about the line, "At the little house down by the dandelion puddle…" when Edward shoved a dandelion into my face. Chuckling, he ran away. He always seemed to know when I was thinking about them, but I guess staring wouldn't help either.

I looked away, to make it seem as if I hadn't actually been staring, but rather day dreaming. Casually glancing back, I watched as Jasper and Alice got up to throw away their uneaten lunch. Not even their pop had been touched.

"Katie!" I hissed. "Look! Jasper and Alice didn't eat anything. They're throwing away their entire lunch. Even their unopened can of Pepsi! That's not normal."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Meagan, shut up. We all know Jasper's a hottie hot hot,* but you need to calm the fuck down and stop being such a stalker. Maybe they weren't hungry today. And besides, you haven't eaten either."

Looking at my tray, I realized that I had yet to take a bite of my bacon and cheese bagel. I suppose I had, yet again, day dreamed most of my lunch period away.

"But Katie, it's BACON and CHEESE bagel! Who doesn't eat bacon? No one! Except for maybe Jews and Muslims…and I suppose vegetarians…but still! It's BACON! And everyone knows that everything is better with cheese." I spat out.

"Actually…I brought a T-Bone steak from home. I hate bacon."

I gasped at this revelation but scarfed down my lunch before the bell rang. As I made my way to study hall, with the best teacher ever, Mrs. Gowan, I watched the Cullens pass by me. I spotted Jasper turn the corner and couldn't help but sing "Good Lookin' Guy" from Boy Meets World, in my head as I walked. I saw Edward smirk at me over his shoulder before entering Mr. Oliveri's AP Calculus class. That was the other thing about the Cullens. They were too damn smart for their own good. Those bitches all took AP classes while I struggled with basic algebra for four years (luckily, my college level French course helped with my self-confidence). It was like they had done all of this before.

I settled into my seat in between my two best friends, Katie and Sarah, in Mrs. Gowan's classroom. Hers was the best room to have study hall. She was always fully stocked with the latest gossip magazines, and always let us use the period as a way to socialize. I picked up the newest issue of Us Weekly, and began brushing up on my celebrity gossip. This shit was like a drug to me. It was like my own personal brand of heroin.*

I flipped through the pages, looking at them absentmindedly. I couldn't help but feel as if I was being watched. I tried to subtly look around the room, only to find the eyes of both Alice and Jasper on me. I quickly turned back around and tried to catch up in the conversation between Katie and Sarah. They had begun an animated conversation, about what…I wasn't sure.

"I can't believe Maggie tried to have sex with you!" I heard Katie say. This peaked my interest a bit.

"I know, right? I know I look good, but come on! She's such a freak." Sarah replied in a disgusted tone before continuing. "I mean, if she's really that interested, the very least she would have to do is lose some weight, wash that rat's nest she calls her 'do', and take off that fake motherfucking neck brace….Also, she'd have to grow a dick, and a big one at that."

I rolled my eyes and began reading through the magazine once again. I heard Jasper chuckle at something Alice had said, and the sound was music to my ears. I longed to be a part of his world, yes; I realized I sounded like the Little Mermaid, but still. The man was captivating.

The bell rang, signaling the start of the weekend. Everyone rushed to their lockers while making plans for the weekend. Practically the entire senior class was going to Katie's house for her annual Halloween bash on Saturday. Katie was known for her parties. They usually lasted well into morning, with people crashing in sleeping bags all over her lawn (or if they were lucky enough to obtain a spot in her pool house), only after making fools of themselves by doing the Bunny Hop or some other ludicrous act across her back yard. It was an initiation of sorts.

I made plans to go shopping with June and Brittney that evening, to find the perfect accessories for my costume. I packed up my books and walked out to my beloved pink Land Rover, Pinkie. I watched the Cullens get in their cars and exit the parking lot before I headed out, myself.

After taking a long nap, I drove to the mall to meet Brittney and June. We ate dinner and shopped around for a bit before heading to Frederick's of Hollywood, my favorite store. I found the perfect bustier for my costume. Fifteen hundred dollars for a leather bustier? I didn't care. It lifts and separates.*

As I was leaving the store, I noticed the Cullens creeping near Sunglass Hut, on the other side of the median. I swear they were stalking me. Why I was so fascinating, besides obvious reasons, I'll never know. I felt Jasper's golden eyes on me as I headed down the staircase. Being the clumsy fuck that I am, I tripped over an ant and was headed to a certain and likely death. A rainbow of colors exploded as my bags and tissue paper flew around me. As I plummeted, I crashed into something hard and cold. I had fallen down enough staircases to know that what I had crashed into was not the floor. I looked up to find a screaming June and a scared-as-hell Jasper clutching at my waist. My breath hitched before I realized I was lying on top of him, and scrambled to my feet embarrassed once again…I hoped I didn't fart. Remembering that Jasper had been across the mall from me, I was just about to question him when Brittney ran up to me.

"That looked really bad!" She exclaimed.

I blushed profusely out of embarrassment, and nodded my reply. "Yeah, thanks, btw, I'm okay."

I glanced at Jasper and noticed a smirk pulling at his lips. "Ya got to watch those stairs, darlin'. They'll get ya every time."

It was then that I first heard the Southern twang in his voice. How I missed it before, I'd never figure out, but it was even more beautiful than a sunset over Lake Erie. It was then that I noticed the object he had clutched in his hands, and pressed against his chest.

"MY LEATHER BUSTIER!" I screamed in horror. It was supposed to be a surprise addition to my costume…the gorgeous piece of lingerie lifted and separated in all the right places. It was a definite must have.

I quickly snatched the garment from Jasper's grasp and threw it back into the bag. I blushed before thanking him for his help. "Um…Thanks for saving me from the death trap that is a staircase. I'm not really sure how I can give you a proper thank you…"

"Well, I'm sure we can work something out. " He smirked, and I swear I saw him wink. If he was insinuating sex, I'd be more than willing.

Grabbing my bags, I thanked him again and turned to walk away. Before I took two steps I stopped and turned back to him.

"So, Katie is having a Halloween party tomorrow night. I don't know if you got the invite or not, but most of the senior class, with the exception of Maggie and Haylie, will be there. You and your family should stop by." I chewed on the inside of my lip in anticipation of his answer.

"If you'll be there, darlin', then I'll be there."

…Mental note: stop at Victoria's Secret to pick up extra panties, just in case. I said good-bye and watched him nod at me before I walked away with June and Brittney in tow.

We continued through the mall, and as they searched for the perfect additions to their costumes, I couldn't help but replay the staircase incident in my head. I absentmindedly browsed through the racks of clothes when I saw the best shirt ever…Charlie Sheen's face with the word, "Winning" beneath it. I couldn't get Jasper off my mind. It became obvious that June and Brittney were getting suspicious when Brittney said, "Stop picturing Jasper naked!"

At her tone, I jumped in surprise. How did she know?

On the walk out to the parking lot, I mentioned that I had invited the Cullens to the party. June was surprisingly supportive of that idea.

"That's so nice that you invited them! No one ever does."*

I just nodded my head and began replaying the evening's events over in my head. Under my breath I muttered, "There's no freaking way…"

Brittney heard me, "What are you blabbing about?"

I decided that I needed to tell them what I had seen. "Jasper was all the way near Sunglass Hut when I started walking down the stairs. That's a good 200 feet away. How the hell did he get to me so fast?"

Brittney and June exchanged a glance before June spoke. "You had to have hit your head when you fell. There's no way he was that far away from you."

Brittney chimed in, "Who the fuck cares? He's sexy….oooouch…HOTTT!"

Not wanting to get into a debate, and realizing Brittney was right, I replied, "Yeah, you're right! Who cares? I got saved by a sexy bitch!" before getting into my car and heading home.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: **

The next day, I awoke after two hours of sleep feeling groggy and confused. I had managed to stay up half the night trying to piece together the mystery that is the Cullens. I moped around the house for a few hours before finishing the playlist for the party and packing for Katie's.

I arrived at Katie's house early to help set up for the party. We had major decorating to do. Her parties were always quite the soiree and required hours of set-up. This one was no exception; Halloween was usually the biggest party of the year. I was looking forward to a great night of drunken debauchery to get my mind off things. The last 24 hours had been a trip. Maybe I did hit my head when I was going down those stairs. I absentmindedly stroked the back of my short brown hair checking for any non-existent bumps. Even if I did hit my head that still didn't explain the fact that I saw the Cullens _before_ I almost fell down the stairs. No, I know what I saw.

We prepared the usual party foods, Sahlen's hot dogs (with Weber's horseradish mustard, of course), my favorite chicken wing dip, roast beef on weck, Katie's favorite pulled pork, and a relish tray. This one time, my friend Chelsey went on vacay to Flordia and was eating chicken wings in a restaurant. They were discussing how, everyone else in the world, calls them "Buffalo Wings" and we (Buffalonians) call them CHICKEN WINGS, bitch! Get your shit straight. Well, low and behold doesn't a little boy in the next booth ask his parents, "I wonder what people in Buffalo call Buffalo Wings…" It must have been a sign, because sure enough, Chelsey turned around and laid into that kid saying, "CHICKEN WINGS! WE CALL THEM CHICKEN WINGS!" We haven't heard much from her since that day…so here's a message to all you readers, they are ALWAYS called CHICKEN WINGS and are ALWAYS served with BLEU CHEESE AND NEVER RANCH!

Anyway, I told Katie what had happened at the mall the night before. As usual, she brushed off my inquiries, just as June and Brittney had, also insisting that I must have hit my head. I knew I wasn't crazy, but I decided not to press the issue again until I spoke with Jasper.

After hours of decorating and preparing food, Katie and I finally were able to get ourselves ready for the party. Katie came out of her room wearing her usually slutty lingerie, with the addition of rabbit ears and a puffy little tail. I glanced at the objects in her hand. "What the fuck are you? Why the hell are you carrying a hockey stick and puck?"

"I'm a Puck Bunny, duh*" she said, pointing to her ears. I rolled my eyes. Katie had been dying to pull this costume out of her bag of tricks for years.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" she asked.

"Umm…I thought it was pretty obvious…" I started as I looked down at my costume-clad body. "I'm Officer Hottie…" I pointed to the glistening silver badge on my bustier, and held up my pink fuzzy handcuffs and matching whip. This was not something I would typically wear, but Halloween was the one day of the year you could dress like a slut and get away with it*.

I placed my hat on my head, and picked up a tray of goodies to set up outside. I placed the tray on the table and out of the corner of my eye, I caught site of the makings of a stage at the back of Katie's yard. As Katie walked outside, I asked what the stage was for.

"Hello! Karaoke….and ya know….a surprise for later…." she winked as she retreated back into the house.

I was excited for karaoke. It was probably my favorite sport, just after shopping and getting manicures. They kind of went hand in hand. I had several trophies to prove this. I actually won a shopping spree for a charity event from one of the radio stations. I managed to get $1,500 donated as a result of my mad shopping skills. Supermarket Sweep ain't got nothin' on me. That's how I roll, bitches.

I silently hoped to not draw too much attention to myself with my costume, with the exception of a certain Cullen. I wasn't sure how well that would work, considering I was only wearing my bustier, fish-net stockings, booty shorts, and knee-high boots.

About half an hour later, our classmates started to arrive. The music was bumping, the party was epic and everyone was having a good time. Everyone, except for me. What a shocker, I was ditched again. Fucking Katie. At this point, my nerves were getting the best of me, so I grabbed a drink, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Cullens.

It was an unusually warm autumn for Buffalo, so we were able to sit in Katie's garage and socialize as usual. I sat back and watched as my friends made complete asses of themselves while attempting to croon like Whitney Houston when they really sounded like Rebecca Black…if they were lucky. Katie was really excited about a special surprise her parents had secured for our party. She was being especially cryptic, and I was becoming suspicious.

I sat in the garage making small talk with my friends, but I couldn't help but glance up every time a new person entered the garage, hoping it was Jasper. As I watched people arriving, I noticed the creativity many of my friends exhibited in their choice of costumes this year. Sarah had decided to go as Jack Sparrow…excuse me, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. She fucking loved those movies. It was fun watching Jimbo try to steal her effects…and her hat.* Jimbo came dressed as The Situation from the Jersey Shore and Kellie complimented his costume very well with her version of Snookie, complete with poof and all. These were the most creative costumes that I saw. There were a few stereotypical costumes as well. Half a dozen people were dressed as witches, cats, and ninjas. And as a result of that ridiculous vampire craze that's so hot right now, we had an over-abundance of vampires. Lame.

To try to distract myself, I engaged in a game of Apples to Apples with Kellie, Jimbo, and two of our classmates, Jacob, and Mason. I was kicking some major ass as a result of being dealt both the Helen Keller card as well as the Rosie O'Donnell card. Those bitches win all.

The party was in full swing now, with all of our class there, with the exception of the Cullens. Melissa and Heather had the audacity to show up uninvited. I thought Katie was going to flip shit. It's social suicide to invite Heather and Melissa to a party. Jimbo, Katie, and I approached them. They quickly became the butt of every joke once we stepped in to save Katie's reputation. I noticed that Melissa had decided to wear my costume from last year. I will admit, my version was pretty epic, but that's no excuse for a dipshit like her to think she could pull that shit off. I walked up to her ugly ass and ripped her a new one.

"What the fuck, betch?" Yelled Jimbo.

"Seriously, what the fuck? You show up here, uninvited, in recycled costumes trying to blend in. Like we couldn't spot that Halloween costume a mile away." Katie said.

I rolled my eyes. "Melissa, you couldn't come up with your own costume, so you decided to wear mine? Sorry but you can't pull off Antoine Dodson quite like I can."

Katie got even more annoyed. "Welll….obviously….there's a rapist….in my garage. She's creeping on my property, snatching your people up, trying to rape them. So ya'll need to hide ya vag, hide ya sack, and hide ya ass cause she be rapin' errrybody out here."*

Jimbo's jaw dropped, "Oooh, burn."*

I bust out laughing at Katie's wittiness as Melissa ran out of the garage crying, leaving Heather to face our wrath alone.

Heather peaked out at us from under her hooded cloak; she was a hobbit once again. When the fuck was she going to realize that hairy feet were not sexy? Don't get me wrong, I love The Lord of the Rings as much as the next person, but that doesn't mean I want to glue fake hair to my feet and put silicone ears on my own.

Last year, Heather wore that godforsaken hobbit costume to school for the third year in a row. Since we all knew what her costume would be, we decided to have a little fun. Carissa thought it would be interesting to see Heather's reaction to having a school full of Dark Lords chasing after her. One person, even dressed up as Gollum. Heather was so freaked out that she asked anyone and everyone that she saw if they saw the Dark Lords too. We all said no. She was evaluated at the psych ward at ECMC hospital later that day.

After, what would come to be known as "The Whopper Burger Affair," we had attracted a small group. Kellie came running up as soon as she saw Melissa's fat ass rollin' up out of there. She wanted in on the action; she had a few bones to pick with Heather.

"Oh my God! It's Danny DeVito! I love your work!" Kellie yelled as she ran up to Heather, with her Snookie poof bouncing in the air. "Who the fuck glues fake hair to their motherfuckin' feet. You look like Teen Wolf, bitch."

Heather glanced at her feet, and then back at Kellie. "Nigga, please. Dis my errday feet."

I vomited a little in my mouth. That comment didn't warrant a response. We turned our backs on her and she left with her hairy feet and fake ears in tow.

After that drama, Jimbo and I returned to our game of Apples to Apples while Katie set up the Flip-Cup table. I had just laid down the "My Body" card in response to "Delicious," when I felt someone's eyes on me. The Cullens finally showed up, two hours into the party. They attempted to not draw too much attention to themselves, which was difficult since none of them donned a costume. So, they stuck out like a hard cock.

I tried to contain my excitement as to not attract too much attention from the family that I loved to study so much. I glanced briefly at the group as they walked into the garage and each grabbed a drink from the bar before settling into their own little corner. As I inconspicuously glanced at them, I noticed that the Cullens never actually sipped any of their drinks. In fact, they smelled them, and looked on in disgust, slightly pushing their drinks away. They're lucky Katie didn't notice. She would call that shit "Alcohol Abuse". She had a policy, much like that of President Bush's No Child Left Behind…it was called, No Alcohol Left Behind. The sign behind my head proved it.

I glanced over at Katie to see if she noticed the new additions to her party, that bitch was in the middle of a pretty intense game of flip cup –Her against three of our classmates Nathan, Dusty, and Stephen. I had to hand it to her she was kicking some major ass. I watched as she sauntered over to the new comers and welcomed them to her party. She grabbed Emmett and Edward lacing her arms through theirs and led them over to her table to play on her team, Alice and Rosalie followed to cheer them on. Good move on her part, that left one scrumptious piece of ass all to myself.

As I played the game absentmindedly, I thought back to the night before and the stair incident at the mall. I knew what I saw, and whether or not anyone believed me, I didn't care. Laying down a card, I immediately was overwhelmed by the sudden feeling of being watched. You know that feeling- where you can almost feel someone's gaze burning your flesh. I glanced behind me to see Jasper watching me intently. He looked oddly relaxed which more than made up for my lack of comfort. I felt as if he were the hunter, and I his prey…kinky. But still, I couldn't take my eyes off of the man that reminded so much of Apollo, the god of male beauty and music. As my eyes traced over his features, his body sure was singing to me.

Kellie caught me staring. "Why don't you just invite him to play?"

My eyes shot to hers. "Uh…no."

"Why the hell not? Stop being stupid, Miss Meagan. We all know what happened at the mall." Before I could respond, she looked over at Jasper before yelling, "YO, JASPER! Get your butt over here, boy!"

I blushed immediately and could have killed her. Jasper, however, didn't have to be told twice, as he strolled oh-so-casually to the table, and plopped his fine ass in the chair next to me. All I kept thinking was, "Why hadn't I saved the 'My Body' card for him?"

Jasper seemed to very intent on learning the game while never taking his eyes off of me. I could see the lust pooling in his eyes, I could feel it too. I'm pretty sure I had an orgasm as a result. He was sitting very close to me, our toes were touching… I could feel the connection we had.. it was like a jolt of electricity running through my knee high boots right through his black cowboy boots. I needed to find out where he bought those, I've been looking everywhere for a pink pair. My whole world, at that moment, seemed to revolve around him. My friends' conversations were barely audible, but I picked up a few tidbits "Jimbo remember when I was in love with you and you turned me down because you liked my friend Josh more." My heart totally went out to Kellie, her life read like an FML entry "Today I met the man of my dreams, and then I met his boyfriend." Most of her men have been snatched up by gay boys. "Kellbob, you know I don't chew my cabbage twice…" That was one quote I never fully understood. It didn't matter anyway, Jasper was breathing down my neck everytime I played a card, literally.

After playing the game for a while longer, the familiar sounds of "The Bunny Hop" began filtering through the air. Jimbo jumped out of his seat and dragged me out onto the lawn. I caught Jasper raising an eyebrow out of curiosity. I bit my lip and followed closely behind Jimbo. Most of the party was already assembled on the lawn. We danced the Bunny Hop with about half of our classmates with Katie in the front and Jimbo and I bringing up the rear. I noticed Brittney and June dancing in the middle of the crowd, wearing matching purple togas. Leave it to them to dress like Greek Sirens, and pull it off beautifully. The funny thing was, I couldn't recall their arrival to the party. I must have been too engrossed in waiting for Jasper to notice them come in.

Jimbo and I were laughing hysterically as we hopped around Katie's back yard. I noticed the Cullen clan standing on the patio looking at all of us like we had lobsters coming out of our ears.* I caught Alice whisper to Jasper and saw him smirk in response. Edward also had a grin tugging at his lips.

The song ended and I was starting to loosen up. I was finally starting to feel the effects of the drinks and was thankful to Jimbo for helping break me out of my shell. I had been too self-conscious around Jasper to be myself and needed Jimbo to make a fool out of me in order for me to enjoy myself at the party.

I started dancing with June and Brittney when "Carry Out" came on. Can I just say, the hottest line in any song ever was "Is it full of myself to want you full of me…"? God, JT you can fill me anytime. After dancing around for a few minutes, I felt someone's hands on my hips. Who the fuck thinks they can touch me without my consent? I'll cut a bitch up. I slowly turned to see who dared to touch my goodies, and gagged at the site before me. It was Creeper….

Creeper and I had a few classes together freshman year of high school. He was friendly enough, so being the sweet, innocent girl that I am, I thought, "Hey, why not make a friend?" Yeah, I'm an idiot. The following year, before the first day of school was over, he had memorized my entire class schedule and would wait outside my classes to walk me to the next one. I didn't even know my class schedule at that point. I thought it was kind of weird, but he was nice and I didn't mind the attention. After all, who wouldn't want to hang out with me? It was all fine and dandy until he somehow got a hold of my phone number. I suspect Katie was responsible for that one. He called my house up to 10 times a day just to moan at me. If I had to guess, it almost as if he was jacking off while on the phone with me. It was creepy. It all ended on his birthday when he called and asked me to "deflower" him. That shit wasn't happening. Who the fuck calls it "deflowering" to begin with? That was beyond creepy to me. Ever since then, he was appropriately dubbed, "Creeper". I have since forgotten his real name.

I tried to hold back my vomit while trying to break free from Creeper's grasp. He held on tighter and began making kissy noises in my ear. "Mmmm….Meagan, I love how you look in your bustier, fish-net stockings, booty shorts, and knee-high boots." I tried beating him with my koosh-ball whip. It didn't work. Fuck.

I could feel the contents of my stomach inching its way back up into my throat. I tried to get a swing at him, but I missed. I had terrible aim. He just grabbed my hand and leaned in for the kiss of doom. Before his lips could make contact with mine, I felt a familiar cold sensation snaking its way between me and Creeper. I thought Creeper spilled his drink down me, but looked down to see the arm of my Apollo, Jasper, guarding me protectively and pulling me away. The anger I saw in his eyes scared me. Creeper wet himself and started crying. I almost felt bad for the guy…ALMOST. Jasper growled soothingly to me, "Let's go somewhere more private…" I glanced around for the rest of the Cullen clan. I spotted them a few yards away, cutting a rug on the dance floor. Had I known they had such sick moves, perhaps I would have tripped over an ant sooner.

Jasper pulled me away from the glaring eyes of a humiliated creeper, and led me to the front of the house silently. He sat me on the stairs, as he composed himself for a few moments. I took the opportunity to enjoy my view. It was a nice change to see Jasper out of his school uniform and in trendier clothing. His pink button up shirt accented his rippling muscles quite nicely. His jeans brought out the curvature of his ass brilliantly.

Everyone was in the back yard, and would be too absorbed in the party to come up front. And, let's face it, they would be too drunk to notice I'd be gone. We sat on the stairs for what seemed like forever, before Jasper broke the silence.

"The Bunny Hop, huh…?" He said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "It's kind of a tradition. Katie's mom insists that everyone does something silly in order to be initiated into their 'Vodka Friday' club. I don't usually drink, so I don't really remember why I joined…"

"Well you looked very cute doing it."

I blushed, and was thankful that it wouldn't be so noticeable thanks to the darkness. We sat there for a few minutes longer before it was my turn to speak first.

"What made you guys come tonight?" I asked, curiosity dripping from my words.

He chuckled, "You invited us…and I'll admit, I was looking forward to seeing you again."

"Oh…well, I'm glad you came. Thanks for saving me from Creeper. That guy's been stalking me for years."

He chuckled. "That's twice I've saved your ass in the matter two days. You owe me big time, now. "

"What did you have in mind?" I asked a bit nervously.

"How about you stop by my house tomorrow to do some cleaning while my parents are gone? Don't worry, I'll provide the outfit."

I laughed, unsure if he was serious. Lord knows what that costume might be…

Jasper seemed to sense my discomfort, and put a calming hand on my knee. This worked wonders, and I was immediately relaxed under his touch.

"I really like your costume…Officer…Hottie…That leather bustier sure does look familiar." He winked.

"Yeah, thanks…I like your pink shirt. Why are you wearing a pink shirt, though?"

Jasper smirked, "I know it's your favorite color…and besides, real men wear pink."

Just then, we heard Emmett's booming voice come from the side of the house. "I want my pink shirt back! I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!" *

I stopped to wonder how he could possibly know that pink was my favorite color…besides the obvious fact that my car's pink, my binders are pink, I wear pink socks every day, I always have a pink ribbon in my hair, and I'm currently wearing pink nail polish that matches my pink lacy panties. My mom always said, "Be sure to ALWAYS match your nail polish to your panties. You never know who's gonna see them…" I swear, she was a Greek philosopher in a past life…hmm…Nostradamus maybe?

It was then that I decided to ask the most obvious question of the night. "So Jasper, why didn't you dress up for the party?"

"Well, Halloween seems to be getting pretty old. It's always the same thing year after year…Not really my thing. And besides, I wouldn't know what to dress up as anymore."

I shrugged. "Oh…Well there's that whole, lame, vampire craze happening now. That could have worked."

He chuckled. "Those vampire costumes are so unrealistic. I mean, who wears a cape in the 21st century? That's so 'Jack the Ripper'."

I nodded. "I guess you're right. But the whole idea of being bitten in the heat of the moment is actually quite a turn on for me." I realized what I said and blushed instantly. Jasper just raised his eyebrow, and slowly inched his face closer to mine.

Before he could reply, I saw a familiar set of bunny ears run from the back of the house and start heaving in the bushes. I only managed to hear Katie mutter, "Fuck, pulled pork" (in the classiest way possible) before the immediate sensory overload sent a wave of nausea through my system. I managed to run a few feet from Jasper before I found myself also heaving in a different set of bushes. Fucking chicken wing dip. Never again, motherfucker.

Embarrassed I ran inside to clean myself up. I thought for sure Jasper wouldn't want to see me again, but he was waiting in Katie's kitchen for me to come out of the bathroom. When I came out, I saw him staring down Katie's cat, Stella. She was hissing at him and trying to swipe him with her claws. At that moment, Katie's cousin Jimmy, not to be confused with Jimbo, appeared from the basement, obviously drunk. Witnessing the interaction between Jasper and Stella, Jimmy began singing, "Mama saiddddd, didn't know how to make the kitty go meeeeeeeoooooowwwwww…."* before grabbing another drink and returning to his humble abode. That was the one thing about Katie's parties. You were always entertained, and usually left with numerous stories to tell the losers that weren't invited (aka, Melissa and Heather).

Jasper guided me outside, and we found a private, cozy area in the back of the garage. He leaned slowly towards me as he whispered, "Now where were we…?"

He was just about to close the gap between our lips when Katie came screeching over the speakers. That fucking bitch.

"IT'S TIME FOR THE SURPRISE!"

I turned at the sound of her voice, and Jasper kissed my cheek. I heard him sigh, and I turned toward him once again. My lips were just about to graze his when I heard the familiar rhythm of a cow bell…

**A/N: Yo bitches, REVIEW! Love you! ~M&K**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

"Now where were we…?" Jasper asked as he leaned in toward me. I felt his oddly, chilly breath on my lips. When was he eating ice? I was about to close the gap between our mouths when Katie's screeching voice rang through the yard.

"IT'S TIME FOR THE SURPRISE!"

I turned at the sound of her voice, and Jasper kissed my cheek. Leave it to Katie to ruin my moment, again. She was always cock blocking me, figuratively and literally. She was even there when I lost my virginity to Nathan. He and I had snuck up to Katie's bedroom during her birthday party this past summer. He was just about to "bring it home" when Katie, with Jimbo in tow, came busting through her door asking, "Who wants cake?" At the sight of us naked, Jimbo just stood there, mouth agape, before yelling, "What the fuck, betch? Why wasn't I invited?" Katie on the other hand, seemed oblivious to the whole situation, going on about how delicious her Wegman's quadruple chocolate cake was. I had just laid there, looking at them before I spoke, "Seriously? I'm kind of in the middle of something…" Katie just replied, "Boo, you whore"* before walking out with Jimbo who called over his shoulder, "You guys want some condams?" It was a bit of a mood killer, to say the least. Not that it stopped us, of course.

My lips were about to graze Jasper's when I heard the familiar rhythm of a cow bell. Seriously, there's not many songs that feature the cow bell.*

I pulled away from Jasper in shock. "Oh. My. God. Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! There's no fucking way she did that! How could she not tell me?"

Jasper looked at me alarmed. "What's wrong?"

I looked at him and danced a little jig before screeching and grabbing his hand to drag him with me toward the stage. Jasper was clearly confused and unnerved by my sudden change in disposition.

As I dragged him along, Jasper threw a slew of questions at me.

"What happened? Are you hurt? I don't smell any blood! You know, it's all fun and games until someone gets a paper cut…"

I stopped and looked at him, but shrugged off the comment for the moment. I mentally stored it for later conversation. I dragged him closer to the stage as I was jumping up and down in excitement.

"What band is this? They sound like shit."

I looked at Jasper in horror. "Oh my God! It's The Fly White Honkys! They're awesome!"

By the time we reached the stage, the band had finished up their song, "Too Much Noise". Katie ran on stage to introduce the members of the band. That fucking bitch, how did things always manage to go her way, when I couldn't even get laid without an interruption?

Katie strutted up to the microphone, grabbing it, and starting her speech, she looked great in her costume and had great stage presence. I swear that bitch was born for this kind of thing. "Give it up for The Fly White Honkys! Meagan, I told you I'd make it up to you for ruining your v-card moment!" I ducked my head as I felt the eyes of 60 people turn to look at me. Katie, noticing my predicament, yelled, "And I'm sorry for mentioning it again, here…Let's hear it for The Fly White Honkys! Take it away, guys!" She ran off the stage as the band began playing their song, "Supermarket Never Again".

The Band consisted of four or five guys, it used to five we don't know what happened to the fifth one he died in a freak gardening accident that the police thought was better to remained unsolved.* The remaining band members were Benji, Uncle Gary, Johnston and the guy with a mohawk. One of my favorite pastimes is to throw oversize granny panties at Uncle Gary with my phone number in them, he never called.

Katie came up to me immediately and apologized for mentioning the Virginity Incident in a very public situation. "I am so sorry! I'm a little drunk…But the band should more than make up for it." She looked back at the stage, "I thought there were five members in this band…Whatever, where's my Bacardi Torched Cherry? Jimbo!" And with that, she hopped away.

I turned, humiliated, as my face turned five shades of red, toward Jasper. "Well, that was awkward…I'm just going to go slit my wrists…" I turned to walk away, and for the third time that night, Jasper had a firm, protective, grasp on me. A girl could get used to this.

"No! Please don't…the last time that happened, it ended very badly." Jasper looked at me with a look of sheer terror. I had never seen this look on his face, before.

I was confused, as usual. I'm always out of the loop. It's the story of my life, literally. My autobiography is called, "Out of the Loop: The Story of Love Lost and Huffnagle." Don't ask. And please, don't ask who Huffnagle is. It breaks my heart to this day.

"What do you mean, 'badly'?" I ask as I take a step back and eye Jasper suspiciously. I let my eyes linger a bit over his rock-hard abs…hey, I'm only human.

He gave a frustrated sigh, "Like I said, it's all fun and games until someone gets a paper-cut."

"Uh…huh…I see…" I said nervously. "What exactly happens when someone gets a paper-cut?"

He sighed nervously. "We need to talk. Privately."

Great.

A/N: Writers love reviews…and readers…*muah* Sorry we haven't updated in forever, we have been too busy seeing the REAL Fly White Honkys. Kudos to you if you know who they are! Anyway, read, review, LOVE IT…bitches! 3 K & M.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Now, I've learned a few things over my 17 years.

1. don't pass out with your shoes on

2. and don't leave the house 'til the booze gone

3. don't have sex if she's too gone

4. when it comes to condoms put two on

I have Asher Roth to thank for all of that. He's a poet. Going down in history like Shakespeare…or the Flinstones…only time will tell.

But most importantly, number five: nothing good ever comes from the words, "We need to talk."

Jasper dragged me to his car, he didn't want anyone around to hear what he had to say. That was greatly disconcerting. Thankfully, I managed to find June and tell her where I'd be. Katie was too busy sucking face with Benji. That whore. I was jealous...not the fact that she was making out with Benji, but the fact that she was making out with someone, period. Let's face it, I've been cock-blocked all night. I was just about to throw an ice cube at the skank, when Jasper tugged my hand harder and led me toward his car.

Being ever the gentleman, he opened the door for me…I guess chivalry isn't dead. My palms were sweating as I sat in his bucket- leather heated seats…of the finest quality.

Jasper made it to the driver's seat in record time and closed the door so quietly that I didn't realize he was in the car. It wasn't until I felt his cool breath lace over my ear that I was made aware of his presence.

"I thought it would be nice to get away for a little bit, since we kept getting 'cock blocked' as you so eloquently put it…" he chuckled.

I blushed before a sudden realization hit me. I turned to him, "I never actually said that aloud…How did you know I was thinking that?"

He sat back smugly. "Edward told me."

Yet again, I was confused. What else is new? "…And Edward knew that…how?"

"Edward can read minds."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT! That look he gave me when I was singing 'Good Lookin Guy' in my head told me everything I needed to know." I rambled.

"Aren't you the least bit curious about how he can read minds and how I saved you from tripping over an ant?"

I shrugged. "Not really. It's just the fact that I was right and everyone else was wrong. People need to start listening to me more often. For example, I totally fell in love with Prince Harry when I was 12…during his awkward stage. While everyone was fawning all over William, I had visions of him looking like his father. No good could come of that. And let's face it, William looks like a horse and Harry's the sexiest Ginger I've ever seen."

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. "Royalty aside, there's a different reason…"

I jumped excitedly in my seat. "Oh! Don't tell me! I want to guess! This is my favorite game…I'm awesome at it! Hmm…let's see…You're all ridiculously white. I mean, I know we're in Buffalo, but come on. Even I get a tan in the summer. You all have the same, unnatural shade of gold eyes, despite all being adopted. Do you know the odds of that happening? Not good. Umm…You people never eat anything. What normal person resists Hilbert's bacon and cheese bagel, you know, besides Katie who brought a T-bone steak? Never mind the fact that you're all straight A honor students in every honors class there is. And who can deny the fact that you're all freakin gorgeous? Dammit. I didn't mean to say that outloud…" I blushed.

Jasper just chuckled. "So what's your hypothesis?"

I pondered for a moment…damn science geeks and their big words. "I GOT IT! You're Mormon! Can I see that magic underwear? That shit fascinates me."

"Uh…guess again…" He gave me a bewildered look.

"Not Mormon, huh? Damn. So guess that's a no to the polygamy…June and Brittney are going to be so disappointed…Alright, alright, alright…I got it! WEREWOLF!" I shout.

"Ugh, God no!" Jasper looked as if he threw up a little in his mouth. "I'm a vampire, Meg!"

"Aw, you called me 'Meg'...Vampire was my next guess…"

"You're not afraid?" he asked, sincerity dripping from his lips.

I shrugged. "Why would I be afraid? Everyone calls me 'Meg'."

Jasper just rolled his eyes. "Not about me calling you 'Meg', about me being a vampire!"

"Not really, I figured you'd have eaten me by now if you were going to do it…That'd be kind of hot, actually…And besides, I figured that out on your first day. " I shifted my gaze to his CD collection above his seat.

"Well, aren't you going to ask about our diet?" he said curiously.

I examined his collection when I noticed something that seemed to be out of place.

"Say it…" he pressed.

"Beiber?"

He cocked his head. "What?"

"You have a Justin Beiber CD…Someone's got Beiber Fever…"

Jasper gave and exasperated sigh. "Ugh! FUCKING EMMETT! I told him not to leave his shit in here."

I just chuckled and continued examining his music before he spoke again.

"So, you're seriously not scared?" He looked worried.

I placed a soothing hand over his, and replied, "Have you seen our classmates? Have you met Jimbo? Funny story. A few years back he had a slight obsession with me. He followed me everywhere, and dry humped me every chance he had. I still have pictures of him straddling my ass and licking my face in Katie's bedroom. Good times…"

Jasper was quiet for a few moments. "I don't know if I should go and rip his head off for that, or go take a cold shower. That's got to be one of the hottest things I've ever heard."

I blushed profusely at this revelation.

"…But there's something serious we need to talk about…" Jasper continued, cryptically.

There was that phrase again, "we need to talk". Fuck my life.

Jasper continued. "You need to know more about my family and I before we can continue anything. Before we moved to Buffalo, we lived in the town of Sporks, Minnesota. Alice had this beautiful friend. Literally, her name was 'Bella'. She was human. Leave it to Alice to befriend the daughter of the chief of police. They were very close friends. Alice dragged her to countless sleepovers, makeovers, and shopping sprees despite Bella hating all of these things. She didn't know what we really were. She wasn't as observant as you are,"  
>he said with a chuckle. " Last year, Alice decided to throw Bella a birthday party since she didn't have many other friends besides us, and her father was always working. So, Alice went all out. I mean, she had balloons, candles, cake and snacks. The whole shabang. The party was going great…until it came time to open gifts. She made it through opening the first one just fine, but that's probably because she didn't actually open the gift. She just kind of shook the box and Emmett told her what it was. It came time for Bella to open her gift from Alice. I remember watching her closely as she examined the small, wrapped box. She was so excited. She slipped her finger under the corner to rip the paper, and at that moment, I got a whiff of the most delicious scent I've ever smelled. She pulled her finger away to reveal a paper cut, and blood dripping down her finger. The scent of her blood was too strong for me, and I couldn't control myself. I'd been so good for so long. But something in me just snapped, and I lunged at her. Edward and Emmett tried holding me back, but at that moment, the only thing that matter was consuming Bella. She was dead before she even knew what was going on. The whole ordeal lasted about 10 seconds. I sucked that bitch like a slurpee."<p>

I cut him off with a reassuring smirk, with my hand still firmly placed on his. I leaned in close, "Wait a second. Let me see if I have this straight. You throw a human a birthday party and wrapped her gifts in PAPER? Are you guys crazy? Have you never heard of gift bags? Come on!"

A look of relief came over Jasper's face. "I knew you'd be understanding. Well, after that happened, we had to cover our tracks. After all, her father was the chief of police. We put her body in the god-awful truck she was driving, and made it look like she had gotten into an accident with a deer…"

I cut him off abruptly, "SHHH! THEY'LL HEAR YOU! We never say the 'D-word' in a car, in Buffalo. They will find you. And you will smash your car…"

He looked confused before realizing that I was talking about deer. He chuckled and then continued, "We made it look like she had gotten into an accident with a D-WORD, causing her truck to blow up making her body unrecognizable. They needed to use dental records to confirm that it was her. Of course our family had to stay for appearances, but our father conveniently received an offer from Roswell Park, this summer which gave us the perfect excuse to move."

I watched as he pulled his wallet from his pocket and took out a picture of an average-looking, mousey brunette. He handed me the picture, and I studied the features of her face carefully, before a sudden realization struck me. "I've seen this girl before. Isn't this Kristen Stewart?"

He just chuckled, "She got that a lot. The poor girl. Kristen can't act for shit."

I nodded in agreement. "She overacts. I remember that movie she was in with Robert Pattinson and Jackson Rathbone. Her delivery of the line, 'You're asking me about the weather?' was utterly ridiculous and completely unbelievable. I mean, they were in the middle of Biology class."

Jasper laughed and gently pulled my chin so we were facing each other. I noticed a smirk gracing his luscious lips as he spoke, while leaning closer to me. "Speaking of Biology…"

He was mere inches from my face when I was cock-blocked, yet again, by, no lie, a motherfucking shoe hitting the hood of his car. I don't know what distracted me more- the fact that his car was hit by a shoe or the fact that the shoe itself was orgasmic. God, I love those red peep-toe slingbacks. They get me every time.

I quickly turned my head to see where the shoe had come from, and what I saw astounded me. I observed an angry mob, which, from my angle, looked to be holding red pitchforks banging on the ground in unison as the crowd cheered. In the middle of the mob, I saw a very familiar pair of bunny-ears, and became worried.

I gave a frustrated sigh, "What the fuck did she do now?" I said as I exited the car to see what kind of trouble Katie had managed to get herself in, this time. Somebody probably cock-blocked her, for a change. Too bad it wasn't me.

I pushed my way through the crowd, with Jasper in tow. Surprisingly enough, Katie was trying to break up the fight. June was kicking major ass, though, and I joined in the cheering. Apparently, what had happened, or so I heard from Jimbo, was that two girls from "The Redbrick Whorehouse" crashed the party and tried to run off with the band…Katie was still attached to Benji at the time.

June had a previous issue with these girls when Jane decided to start some internet drama about people with special needs. Seriously, that shit isn't cool. As always though, Jane was never seen without her lacky, Lori. I personally had my own vendetta against Lori. She was a whore who kept trying to move in on my men. At one point, she and I had been good friends. We had known each other since grammar school, and I taught her everything she knows about stalking. Which was fine, until she started stalking me. Again, not cool.

As June fought Jane, she looked like a true Roman goddess in her purple toga. Simply magnificent. And she was kicking ass, too. Lori stood to the side trying not to attract attention. Bitch thought she could get off easily. Obviously she hadn't seen me yet.

I crept through the crowd until I was right behind her, and pushed her into Brittney. Brittney may seem sweet and fun, but make no mistake, she'll cut a bitch. And I'll fucking help. No one messes with my girls….or guys for that matter. Brittney pushed her back and Lori stumbled, only to be held up with my fist.

I would never know how this fight would end because seconds later, someone threw the motherfucking golden onion from Biology, at my head, rendering me unconscious. The last thing I saw before darkness overtook me, was a gorgeous set of golden eyes. Fuckin' Alice.

I woke up groggy, from one of the most comfortable slumbers I've ever experienced. I kept my eyes closed as I replayed the previous night's events, trying to ignore the slight dizziness I felt from my hangover. After a few minutes of trying to convince myself to wake the fuck up, I finally decided to open my eyes…and I really had to pee. Sitting up in the bed, I took in the unfamiliar surroundings. I glanced to the nightstand on my left, and that's when I saw it…the deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the moon's soft glow…aka…The Vamp. I had heard about this dildo before. The sparkles were what really attracted me. Not to mention the fact that it can be frozen for a different sensory experience.

After having my way with The Vamp, I came to my senses and thought I should do the responsible thing and find out where the fuck I was…not to mention, find out whose dildo just occupied my vag. I sat up and took in my surroundings…in more detail this time.

A couple of things hit me at once, literally I got slapped across the face with a fish. Actually that didn't happen, but first I noticed the piles of clothes scattered on the floor, only half of which were mine. Second, I was in the most luxurious bedroom I have ever seen. You know the type, plush carpet, king size bed, and a fireplace. Not to mention the Egyptian cotton sheets, that made me want to bust out in song, I was actually starting to hum "Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na sheets of Egyptian cotton" when I noticed a picture of my Jasper, donned in a Confederate soldier uniform. That's also around the time, I realized how bad my hangover actually was. I started to side step and grabbed onto the massive bed for support. Thousands of questions zoomed through my head including where the fuck am I? Why are my clothes on the floor? And who the fuck is singing? The almost inaudible sound was closer. I turned my head toward the half opened door, just in time to see Edward walk by in his footie pajamas singing "Blame it on the Goose, gotcha feeling loose, Blame it on the A-A-Alcohol." I thought to myself fuck you, when he replied "Ha Ha, you wish that's Jasper's job." I was horrified at the thought that I had had the best sex of my life and I missed it. And that's when it dawned on me…"Oh my God, I'm a necrophiliac!"


	6. Epilogue

**Katie's epilogue.**

Monday, fuck my life. School was NOT the first thing on my to do list today, especially after an extremely prodigious party. I had to get up super early this morning; we're talking like 7:30! A far cry from the 7:45 that I'm used to; it's not my fault I'm so naturally beautiful that everyone's jealous of me. But, I definitely had to make sure I looked extra cute. I knew I'd be getting even more attention than usual from the party. It's not every day that you get the cops called to your house. I can't believe my creepy neighbors next door called the cops, after that ridiculous fight involving that dumb golden onion. I think they were just jealous that they weren't invited. Ugh, I need a day off. I don't think people realize the pressure society puts on us 17 year olds today. My parents actually expect me to pay for all the damages to their yard. Yeah OK, what do they expect for me to actually get a job or something? I think we all know that's not going to happen. Finally the lunch bell rang, I needed the hour lunch break to collect my thoughts and refocus my energy. Lunch was always a fun time. As I sat there, still slightly hung over from the weekend, my mind wandered to Friday night. I could feel my mouth forming into a goofy grin and my eyes drift shut at the memories.

Friday night was the best night of my life for more than one reason. As I sat there in lunch, I could almost hear Benji whispering my name in passion, "Psst…Katie…Katie….Katie…". We had found that we had a deep, emotional connection when we discussed Jimi Hendrix and his love for his guitar (which you can watch on youtube- just type in "Jimi Hendrix burning guitar"). Oh I had wished that Benji would take me in the same manner Jimi took his guitar. And that he did, my friend. I'm convinced there's no greater feeling in the world than getting banged up against a speaker by a rock star…at least we weren't on stage for the party to see. Actually….that'd be really hot…I guess I'm more of an exhibitionist than Meagan. Who'd have thought? Anyway, back to my night of passion with Benji, now known as "The Night The Guy With The Mohawk Got Me Laid". I owe him a drink, at least. Maybe even a sexual favor if he asks nice enough.

The night had progressed rather nicely. After I introduced the band, I nearly creamed my panties over Benji-good thing the party was at my house. Ironically enough the guy with the mohawk came over and said, "I noticed Benji checking out your bunny-tail clad ass. You should go for it. He hasn't been laid in months." I was apprehensive at first, after just getting over a bad breakup with this guy I worked with named Seth. Pretty sure he was gay. Meagan said he was a flamer from the beginning. I've learned to never bet against Meagan and her gaydar.

Later that night I noticed Lori hanging all over my man, Benji. I was having none of that, especially not in my house. House rules: Katie gets first pick of the guys. So there the skank was, dressed as a sexy nun, with her fat hanging all out (Eeeesh), trying to cop a feel on my man's junk. The poor guy was just trying to have an "in between set" drink. I marched my bunny-tail over to that whore and pushed her off of my sexy piece of ass. I protectively draped my arm around his shoulders and asked him, "Do you want to have sex with that?" Benji looked confused, "…No…not really…". To which I replied, "Then it's settled, Lori stop being such a skeeze and go wax your arm hair. Bye." Lori ran away crying, shouting what I thought were empty revenge threats. Fuck that shit. If anyone was fucking Benji it was going to be me.

My attitude completely changed after that. I went from being Protective Bitch to Super Slut in 0.2 seconds. I sat down next to him, and put my hand on top of his. In the sexiest voice I could muster I asked "What are you drinking?" He replied, simply "Whiskey." I leaned in close and whispered "I love the smell of whiskey on a man's breath." Next thing I knew, I was being thrown against a speaker, Benji and I did a quick look around to see if anyone was watching, not really caring if they were. "Take everything off" I yelled, "except for the bunny ears- you can wear those." It was a strange request but I was even more surprised when he complied. _Kinky_ I thought. This would be fun. He turned me around quickly, taking me by surprise. I expected to be wrapped around him but no; he pounded into me like a fucking animal from behind. It was hot to say the least. The way he pulled my hair and spanked my ass only spiked my arousal. I loved crazy monkey sex. Talk about fly white honkys. Needless to say I came quickly. It was by far the best sex I'd had in a long time. Sex with a gay man can be quite awkward…especially when he yells out "Henry!" when he comes.

I had just come down from the most orgasmic orgasm of my life when I saw a black habit run past the speakers. "That fucking bitch!" I yelled and made my way through the crowd of on lookers who had witnessed my momentous orgasm, to find Lori. There the bitch was on my driveway with reinforcements. That bitch wasn't kidding when she said she'd be back. This time she was with that whore Jane, wearing a baby costume. That's some fucked up shit. She even went as far to ruin my moment with Benji, I had plans to take our rendezvous further. I may have cocked block Meagan all night, but nobody cock blocks Kate, nobody. Apparently Lori and the redbrick whore house bunch, tried running off with the band and having them play at Lori's stupid movie screening party. That wasn't happening. I took one of my shoes and threw it in her general direction. I have notoriously bad aim, and it ended up hitting a silver car with steamed up windows. I wondered what was going on in there. I grew angrier about my cock blocking and lunged at the bitch with my hands around her throat. June jumped in and pulled me off of her, throwing a strong left punch to her nose. At this point I just wanted the drama to end. Edward happened to have the dumb golden onion from Biology class. Why the hell he had that is still a mystery to me, but I grabbed it anyway and threw it in Lori's direction. It was heading right for her when Meagan decided at that moment to join the party and walk right into the onions path knocking her out. Her nose started bleeding, Edward yelled "Blood! Don't Breathe!" The Cullens pulled out doctor's masks from their pockets and put them on. Jasper gave me a reassuring look, "My dad's a doctor he can take care of her. He's more acclimated to blood then we are." With a confused look on my face, I had no choice but to let the Cullens kidnap my best friend. I only had one thought, "When did the Cullens get here?"

The rest of the weekend went by uneventful. I managed to get Benji's number from their manager Janet. We spent the weekend sexting each other. I told him exactly what I would have done to him if that bitch didn't come back. I got off a few more times as a result of some pretty steamy texts back. I also had some mini parties over the weekend with a select few special bitches. It was a down and dirty VIP edition. No thrills, just great booze and tunes. Meagan's bloody nose must have been really bad, because she wouldn't answer any of my texts. I couldn't call her folks because they thought she was still at my house.

As I replayed the weekend's events in my head, I wondered if Meagan was okay. She didn't show up at school today and no one had heard from her since Friday. That's when I heard Ashley say "Apparently Meagan ran off with Jasper and they got married." That snapped me out of my day dream. There's no way in hell Meagan would've gotten married and not tell me about it. I'm the fucking wedding planner for God's sake! I knew it was not true, but where did the rumor stem from? I needed to know. I listened to the rest of Ashley's story with interest. "Sister Marilyn asked me this morning if Meagan was in the process of moving. She saw Meagan and the Cullens driving down South Park in a woody wagon filled with suitcases. Sister Marilyn was inquiring because she knew she wouldn't run off with some random man without being married first. She's too pure for that." I chuckled and almost spit out my apple juice, pure my ass. Kellie and Jimbo didn't miss a beat on my reaction and threw me side smiles. They too knew of Meagan's whorish ways. She was a good Christian girl at heart. She just liked to fuck. Then everything started coming back to me. Jasper's supposed speed in catching Meagan on the stairs, never eating, Edwards reaction to the blood and the medical masks. O.M.G. I fell out of my chair at my revelation. Good thing I was wearing pretty undies. Meagan was right; the Cullens were fucking Mosquitoes, in the adjective form of course. I don't think anyone could physically fuck a mosquito. That's like bestiality or something.

**FIN**

**A/N**

Hope you all enjoyed. Feel free to review. We enjoy both postive and negative criticism. We can handle flames; we like playing with fire. :)

-Katie and Meagan


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